To emerge from my temporary cocoon...

I went to the doctors today and they told me everything was looking wonderful! So, I am pleased to make the official announcement that:

Ryan and I are expecting a baby.
I am 17-18 weeks along in the pregnancy.
The baby is due at the end of March.
And the baby is going to be a Girl! (Yes, you read that right) GIRL!

Wow, I think that may answer any questions you may have. Especially maybe those as to where I've been hiding these past few months. In general I like to write a lot more about what we are doing and use this blog as a journal. Besides having nothing to write about, because, we literally have done nothing for a while now, I think I have chosen until now to write anything on the subject because it's something I just couldn't put into words.

So for future reference I would like to say a few things about my experience the last few months...

I have been sick.(A well stated understatement)

Although, I am still sick I have been doing MUCH better the past week or so.(An early Christmas miracle)

My hesitation to talk about being ill spawns mostly from my ability to see the blessing of pregnancy. Plus, the pain I see in others who may never be able to experience this in all its wonderful and sometimes awful forms.

It's not really possible to describe what it is like to be nauseated constantly for a long period of time. Add in other ailments such as intense reflux and bodily exhaustion and the impossibility to find the right words intensifies. A good example of how I was feeling may be found in my conversation with my doctor during my first appointment.

Doctor: "So, how have you been feeling?"

Me: (with hesitancy) "I am pregnant right?"

Doctor: "Yes, you are."

Me: "Oh good, I thought I may be dying."

And so the journey began.

Most anything I put in my mouth, found it's way back out quickly thereafter. My doctor prescribed a fancy little drug that helps keep food down(some of it), but neglects to ease the nausea enough to provide any real relief. By week 8 of my pregnancy(3 weeks of nausea) I started to realize, this isn't just physical, it's emotional too. My days became individual mountains to climb. My family started to subsist on crackers and instant foods I swore I'd never feed them. Little by little my ability to perform my daily tasks was becoming increasingly impossible. By week twelve, 4 weeks later, I pretty much wanted to kill myself. Am I exaggerating, Yes, ask me then, No. I was miserable, it was miserable.

Because I can say with much glee that I am now emerging from the nausea fog(without knocking on wood). I couldn't be happier. I am sure my children and husband are feeling even more happy about it. Ryan has taken such wonderful care of us. His job/school has been incredibly demanding and so he's been gone, a lot. But, when he can be home, he's helpful and sympathetic. It's been a time of serious struggle, for everyone involved.


But today my ill feelings seem to pale in comparison to the excitement and gratitude I feel for this...

and this...



and this...



And so I emerge from my temporary cocoon, not exactly transformed or morphed into something incredibly beautiful or new, but maybe with a better understanding and gratitude for good health and sweet blessings.


A girl, can you believe it?!! Obviously, I am still shocked...